have lost everything!
Will I ever find something again?
I have lost my confidence in everything!
Will I get back my confidence somewhere along the road to death?
I have lost my love!
Will I ever love again?
I have lost my feelings!
Will I ever be able to feel again?
I have lost my soul!
Will I get back my soul?
I am lonely, but I think I want to be alone.
Yes I want to be alone,
with myself and my misery.
Quietly living for myself.
Hoping for a soon and quick death.
So I haven’t to see anymore,
how everything is falling apart fright in front of me
I have lost everything!
Will I ever find something again?
I have lost my confidence in everything!
Will I get back my confidence somewhere along the road to death?
I have lost my love!
Will I ever love again?
I have lost my feelings!
Will I ever be able to feel again?
I have lost my soul!
Will I get back my soul?
I know it is stupid to be alone,
But nobody can hurt me!
I don’t want to be hurt anymore.
If I can’t become happy, that I am not hurt anymore,
it’s okay to me.

The Choosal

If I have to choose between love and death
I choose death over love
For love is a lot like death
Love is an emotion that consumes a whole person with grief and pain
Love and death are very much alike
But beneath the bad things death and love bring
There is also one thing that they bring- a good thing
Freedom from the pain of life
A way to get out of all the bad things of life
Now that I have thought about it
I would choose both
I just realized...
If I can die with the one I love
Nothing can beat that.

– Death and I –

Listen, my child, and listen well
To the best advice I can give
It will aid you in your travels
Better to listen now, than to stay ignorant

Beware, for when you slay the wicked
Be sure to check once more
For sometimes the dead will rise again
And sometimes the dead will stay slain

Listen for the sounds of the living
No matter where you roam
For Life will always betray you
- Treat it carefully

But keep Death close at hand
As you would an evil companion
For he seeks only life
Just as the living seek to tempt him

For as long as you can see him
You are same from all other things
Of dark and devilish manner

But know that Death shall always try
To seep into your mind
And overtake your limbs
So that you are one

So beware all things of hellish nature
And the best of these is Death
So keep him safe and close to you -
Take him everywhere you roam

But beware his brother Hate
He is clever, easily angered
It ne'er takes much to release him from his cage

And if left unchecked
He will rampage far and wide
- It is his nature

But remember this:
No matter how horrible
The many faces of the dead
There are things far worse

Things not of this world
Bred of pure evil
Things far beyond imagination
And death is the best of these

And when there is no escape
And life has fled from you
He will always be there
By your side,
The loyal companion he is

And when there is no other option
And you have nowhere left to turn
Turn to Death, he will embrace you

He is sweet
And will take you swiftly
If you have held him all these years

But beware, for if you shun him
He will be less inclined to take you
He will abandon you, when you need him most

He will leave you alone with Pain
- His far more spiteful cousin.

So choose now, my child, and choose him wisely
Your companion for your life
- Death, Hate or Pain
You may choose only one

- Death is by far the sweetest
- Hate will keep you company
- And Pain will discipline your mind

So choose now your loyal companion
I have already chosen mine
He is by far the most faithful, I have found


Just choose.
Death, life, pick one.
Are you wishing for life
Full of love, joy and happiness?
Or is it death you're really after?
Where pain and doubt will haunt no more.
It's your life, deal with them.
Live day by day.
Just choose.

Death as a welcomed Alternative for Life

Life and Death, who and what are they ?

One is an optimist and other is a realist...
One gives you pain while other eases you of sufferings...
One is a start of a long journey while other is the end of it...
One is there to fly away one day, while other is your lover at heart till end of times...
One asks you for so much while other asks you for none....
One comes with problems while other is the final solution...
One asks you to be careful while other asks you to be free and to let go...
One is a fishbowl of dreams while other is the end of wishfullness...
One receives the praise of love from the people while other is the victim of hate....

And I ask you why ? Why such injustice against Death ?

Why do people despise Death so much ? Why do people run away from it when is it only a true lover of humanity...

Isn't it because of the existence of Death with us on our life’s journey that we do not fail to take the opportunity to say 'I Love You' to people we love and care for ?

Isn't it because of Death that makes us to do better things so that when we face Death, we can tell it that we did our needed part in life and tried to make the world a better place for other existing lives ?

Isn't it Death that makes us realize that we do not have forever to do things and we should give out our best effort in all matters and things ?

I say, that it is Death and Death alone that gives this beautiful meaning to life, it gives conscious life it's uniqueness... Without Death, you have an endless journey of pain, regrets, suffering and boredom... So if you want to live your life, then embrace Death and love it with all your heart... Don't hate it and despise it... Don't be scared of it... It is only Death that cares for you and makes you who you are... Without Death, nothing would be as it is now... Choose Death with dignity when it comes... Welcome it in your heart... Realize its importance...

And i ask you again, What is Death afterall, If not just another welcomed Alternative for Life ?


Sadness is powerful;
It brings out old pain
Of knowing you have failed,
Or hurt the feelings of another.

Sadness cannot be stopped.
It can be brought on by anything-
Freinds, family, surroundings, anything-
It envelops me, like a dark cloak.

Sadness reminds us of loves long past,
Of the one that got away,
Of the time when we were supposed to be great-
And failed.

Sadness can destroy you.
It can work into your system,
Strangle your heart and mind, blinding you,
It can even lead to darker things....

Sadness blinds you with rage,
It can make you scream, make you cry,
Even make you want to die.
Sadness is a force to be reckoned with.

Sadness evokes a most primal feeling.
It invokes solitude, and a lust for blood,
And a certain revulsion at what you are,
Or what you have become.

Why did I let sadness seep through me?
Why did I allow it to deminish my love for you,
And wreck the one thing I held dear?
Why do I even bother, when the sadness will prevail?


Look in my eyes
and you'll see 40 kinds
of sadness;a beauty
dressed in greif.
Kicked out of heaven
and no longer believes...

Strawberry gashes
and badly burnt wings.
I watches my life
fly by as the pendulm

A little boy against
the world,noone by
my side.Noone to
wipe tears away,noone's
arms to run and hide...

I'm weak but try
to be tough.Though
nothing's ever good

Tough for myself,
and tough for my
friends.I can't wait
for the day the pain
finally ends...

The Gift

I have a gift.
I did not want this gift, it meant suffering and pain.
The pain came because of love.
A love which had manifested itself in my heart.
The heart brought its love to me and asked for my love.
Sometimes I did not understand this.
Sometimes I did not appreciate it.
Sometimes I was too busy to listen quietly to this love.
But the love persisted; it was always there.
One day the heart didn't say a word and died.
The love remained.
This time the love came in other forms.
This time there were memories, there was sadness and anguish.
And unbelievable pain.
One day a stranger said, ‘I understand,’ and did.
You see the stranger had also been this way.
We talked and cried together.
The stranger became my friend as no other had.
My friend said, ‘I am always here,’ and was.
One day I lifted my head.
I noticed another grieving, gray and drawn with pain.
I approached and spoke.
I touched and comforted.
I said, ‘I will walk with you,’ and did.

I also had the gift.

What have i done?

I'm down, totally, down, I don't know, what to do, i don't know what to say, I don't know anything,

I'm down, totally, down, I don't know, what to do, i don't know what to say, I don't know anything.

I'm just feeling empty, not more.

Always I'm asking myself, what have i done, what have i done to the person i love?
But i didn't know, how to react on this things she has done to me. I think, thats why i reacted as i did, but what have i done, was it the right thing, was is completly wrong?

I'm down, totally, down, I don't know, what to do, i don't know what to say, I don't know anything, but one thing: I Love you, more than you think or believe.

I'm just feeling empty, not more.

To you my dear, my beloved Angel, the lyrics on Animexx, why? Have i been so cruel to you?
Or do i just misunderstand these lyrics?
Please tell me if you want, i beg you on knees to tell me.
I'm also begging you to stay by my side and don't leave me alone, i'm begging you.

I'm down, totally, down, I don't know, what to do, i don't know what to say, I don't know anything, but one thing: I Love you, more than you think or believe.

I'm just feeling empty, not more.

I wish to be forgiven, for the wohle things i have done to you, i have done ever tou you.
Some wounds i have done to you, would never heal completly and i'm really sorry, that i've done that to you, but...

...I'm down, totally, down, I don't know, what to do, i don't know what to say, I don't know anything, but one thing: I Love you, more than you think or believe.

I'm just feeling empty, not more.

Suicidal Mind

When life gets tough,
You get your knife.
When life just sucks,
You take your life.

When you have problems,
When no one cares.
The scars on your arms.
All the stares.

The blade of the knife
Held up to your wrist.
The blood leaking out.
Your hand in a fist.

There is no pain.
You do not start.
Nothing compares
To the pain in your heart.

If you're in the mood
You might get artistic.
Carve a morbid message
"I am sadistic."

"I hate"
"Life sucks"
"Screw the world"

Most don't understand
What it's like to suffer.
"There are people in the world worse off than you."

Do you care?
Oh no.
You're apathetic.



When life gets tough.
The blade. The knife.
When life just sucks.
Your death. Lost life.

The cuts. The blood.
The freedom you find.
Take a look inside
The suicidal mind.


Kein Lächeln mehr
Auf meinen Lippen

Kein Leuchten mehr
In meinen Augen

Kein Leichtes mehr
In Leib
Noch Seele

Wird doch
Wieder kommen
Bin gewiss
Bis du wieder hier bis

Bin traurig, ohne Dich

Alles ist von sinnloser Leere erfüllt.
Gedanken sind von Nebeln umhüllt.
Die Augen sind, von Tränen gefüllt.
Depression, meine Seele die brüllt.

Steh hier und schreie, in die Nacht.
Einsam, um den Schlaf gebracht.
Ziehe leise Kreise, in meinem Feld.
In mir versunken, vergess die Welt.

Alles ist grau, einfach Monoton.
Die Sonne erwacht, voller Hohn.
Blick ins dunkle, es tut so sehr weh.
Friere, auf der Seele liegt Schnee.

Mein rufen, das verhallt im Wind.
Bin verloren, wie ein kleines Kind.
Blicke dorthin, wo sonst Sterne sind.
Sehe nichts, Tränen machen Blind.

Aber bald kommst du zurück
zusammen mit mir ins Glück
Ohne dich werde ich verrückt
Das Alleinsein mein Herz zerpflückt


Meine Augen streicheln
über dein Gesicht und
trösten dich,
wenn du unglücklich bist.

Meine Augen ertrinken
in deinem Blick und
heilen die Sehnsucht
in deinem Herzen.

Meine Augen wollen
nie mehr alleine sein
und lassen Tränen
zu dir sprechen.

Meine Augen bewachen
deinen Schlaf und
liebkosen sanft deine
warmen Lippen.

Meine Augen funkeln,
wenn sie dich erblicken
und flüstern dir zu,
ich liebe dich.

Meine Augen - Deine Augen,
wie berauschend ist es
mit dir zu reden,
ohne die Stille
um uns zu zerbrechen.

Augenblick mit Dir!

Die Zeit steht still!
Es gab kein Gestern
es gibt kein Morgen
Was war ist vergessen
was kommt ist gleich
Der Moment alleine zählt
Alles andere spielt keine Rolle
Viel wichtiger als die Ewigkeit
ist ein Augenblick mit dir!

Der Schmerz

Der schmerz frisst mich auf
Langsam stück für stück,
ich hab im leben einfach
kein glück.

Nichts gelingt nichts
Nichts ändert sich ,
der hass
ich hasse mich.

Alles scheint sich zu drehen
Immer nur im kreis,
das leben ist scheiße
das ist der preis.

Alles versucht und doch
Nichts geschafft,
versucht zu verstehen
und doch nichts gerafft.

Ich bin am ende
Ich kann nicht mehr,
ich will leben aber
das ist so schwer.

Mein leben fliegt
Es fliegt in der luft umher,
schwerelos scheint es zu sein
doch die last macht es so schwer.

Immer wieder bin ich luft
Unsichtbar für jeden,
ich hab geschwiegen
aber ich wollte reden.

Doch das fiel mir schwer
Ich konnt es nicht,
der tunnel ist so dunkel
wo ist das licht???


Wie eine Decke hüllt sie dich ein
wie ein Strick umschließt sie deinen Hals
lähmt deinen Körper
verfolgt dich wie ein dunkler Schatten
ein Leben Lang

sie raubt dir den Schlaf
du zitterst ,weinst und flehst
und du suchst sie diese Kraft
die deine Angst zunichte macht

Sie hüllt dich ein
du kannst nicht alleine sein
diese Bilder wollen nicht gehen
schließt du die Augen
dann sind sie wieder da
so verdammt real

Die Schatten die niemals vergehen
der Teufelskreis der dich umschließt
die vielen ungeweinten Tränen
die Wunden in und auf dir
dein unendlicher Schmerz
deine Angst

Darum schläfst du nicht
schließt deine Augen nicht
damit du sie bekämpfen kannst
deine Angst.

Still i have to wait...

Deep inside my soul is aching
Longing for your touch
Inside my chest my heart is breaking
I'm missing you so much
You just don't know how much I love you
How much I really care
My feelings are strong and oh so true
This kind of love is rare
A life without you is not complete
I'm so empty inside
I long for the day we will be together
And no longer have to wait.

Macht es Spaß???

Macht es Spaß auf mich einzutreten,
obwohl ich schon längst am Boden liege?
Macht es Spaß mir Messer in die Seele zu stechen,
obwohl ich schon längst zerrissen bin?
Macht es Spaß mir Steine in den Weg zu legen,
obwohl ich eh schon Schwierigkeiten hab
überhaupt einen Weg zu finden?
Macht es Spaß über meine Tränen zu lachen,
obwohl ihr deren Bedeutung kennt?
Macht es Spaß meine Schreie mit eurem Lachen zu übertönen,
obwohl ihr wisst, wie sehr ich Hilfe brauche?
Macht es Spaß mich so zu quälen und zu zerstören?
Warum lasst ihr mich denn dann nicht einfach mal sterben???
Damit ihr mich noch länger quälen könnt!?

Warum verachten mich alle so?
was habe ich denjenigen getan?
Warum akzeptieren diejenigen mich nicht wie ich bin?
Ich meckere auch an nichts von denen rum oder lass dumme Sprüche fallen?

Leere Worte

Ich scheiß auf eure Worte!
Denn auch nur keins von ihnen ist ernst gemeint!
Sie haben alle keinen Wert!
Was soll ich mit netten Worten,
wenn sie für euch keine Bedeutung haben?
Wenn ihr kein bisschen hinter ihnen steht
oder sie auch noch verleugnet?
Soll ich mich darüber freuen,
wenn es doch offensichtlich ist,
dass sie nur einfach daher gesprochen sind?
Glaubt ihr ich bin bescheuert???
Denkt ihr wirklich, ich merke nixx?
Glaubt ihr, ich kann den Unterschied
zwischen Worten mit Bedeutung
und einfachen leeren Worten nicht sehen?
Ich scheiß auf eure Worte!

others will follow...



Naja das hier is mein neuer Blog, bitte gebt den net an alle weiter, habe den deswegen extra neu gemacht



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